


Forget Me Not

by NoForkingClue



Category: The Boys (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 18,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27231706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoForkingClue/pseuds/NoForkingClue
Summary: Maybe stealing ten grand from a psycho with a hatred for people like you wasn't the best idea.Now you're stuck helping a bad tempered madman with a grudge against supes the size of the Titanic. Will you make it out before one of you snap or will you learn that there's more to each other than initially meets the eye?
Relationships: Billy Butcher/You
Comments: 44
Kudos: 151





	1. Chapter 1

You nursed your whiskey as you looked at the other people in the bar. It was one of those underground seedy bars, the type that you wouldn’t go into without a loaded gun. However you felt perfectly safe. None of the other patrons, if you could call them that, bothered you. That was until one man came and sat next to you. The bar was practically empty and he chose the barstool right next to yours.

“Can I help you?” you asked with a raised eyebrow

“I think so love,” he replied, “At the risk of sounding like a fucking cliché cunt, have we met somewhere before?”

You paused for a moment as you took another sip of your drink before you said,

“You’re right.”

“I usually am.”

You wanted to wipe that smug looked off his face but you took a deep breath.

“You do sound like a cliché cunt. How often does that line work on people by the way?”

“Well it’s gotten you talking to me hasn’t it?”

You scowled as you raised your glass to your lips and grimaced when you realised it was empty. You put in down, a little harsher than necessary, and tried to ignore the man’s smirk.

“How about another?”

“My mother always taught me not to accept drinks from strangers.”

“Well then,” he held out his hand, “I’m Billy…”

“Y/n.” you said taking it

“And now we’re not strangers,” he said grinning, “Now about that drink.”

“Whiskey.”

“A woman after my own heart.”

The two of you sat in silence while you waited for your drinks to arrive. You looked at Billy nervously out of the corner of your eye. There was no possible way for him to know who you were. You were keeping such a low profile and your-

“Here you go love,” he said handing you a glass, “Now in return for your drink I would like-“

“I’m not a whore.”

“You don’t sound like one, too fucking classy. I was hoping you’d answer some questions.”

You stared at the amber liquid, suddenly losing all interest in drowning yourself in booze.

“Depends what the questions are.”

“How many fucking times have you wiped my memory you fucking supe cunt.”

You immediately stood up but a firm hand slapped itself on your shoulder and forced you back onto the bar stool. Billy leaned closer and you could feel his breath ghost over your face. You tried to lean away but he forced you to stay where you were.

“Did you really think we wouldn’t catch up to you?” he hissed

“People usually forget about me after meeting me.”

“With their pocket a lot lighter I suppose.”

“It’s a risk most people are willing to take. Including you.”

“I want my money back. And my gun while you’re at it.”

“Tough,” you shrugged, “Spent the money and need the gun.”

“What does someone like you need a gun for?”

“To protect me from people like you.”

Billy’s grip on you tightened and you winced.

“So what are you going to do?” you asked, “Kill me? I know how you feel about people like me.”

“You aren’t a person.”

“I eat, I drink, I can feel,” you asked, “I’m just as much of a person as you are Billy.”

“Alright you cunty Shylock,” Billy grunted, “Time to go.”

“Where to? The back alley to blow my brains out.”

“You’re going to pay me back all that fucking money you stole.”

“Oh Billy,” you raised a hand and gently cupped his cheek, “No I’m not.”

“Because?”

“Because,” you quickly pressed your fingers against his temple, “You’re going to forget all about me.”


	2. Chapter 2

You leant against the bars of the cage as you gave the man in front of you a bored look. He was leaning against the wall and glaring down at you.

“Did you really think it was going to be that fucking easy?” he asked

“Honestly, yes I was.”

“Fucking cunt.”

“Obnoxious twat.”

“Evil little shit.”

“Evil? I’m not the fucking murderer here.”

Billy gave a short bark of laughter.

“Right, sure.”

“I’m not,” you said, “I’m a thief, a con, a fraudster, everything like that. But I ain’t a fucking murderer.”

Silence fell between the two of you as you folded your arms and slumped back. Butcher watched you with a raised eyebrow.

“Well look at that,” he said, “A fucking supe with some principles.”

“I ain’t a supe.”

“Whatever,” he pushed himself off the wall and started walking towards the door, “Enjoy the next couple of hours by your fucking self.”

“What,” you lunged forward and grabbed the bars, “You can’t fucking leave me here.”

“I can and I am,” he smirked, “Later sweetheart.”

*

“H… hey.”

Your eyes snapped open when you heard the soft voice. You looked over your shoulder sharply and the person in front of you flinched. He was holding a glass of water and gave you a weak smile.

“Though you could use this.”

“Hughie right?”

“How did-“

You tapped your head.

“Mind reader remember? Can’t exactly turn it off.”

“Right, yeah, of course.”

He handed you the glass of water and you took it gratefully. It was clear that Hughie didn’t belong with these people and you felt slightly sorry for him. As your fingers brushed against his Hughie quickly jerked his hand back, a terrified look on his face.

“What?” you asked

“It’s just Billy said…”

“Let me guess, I can control your mind when I touch you.”

“But with more swearing, yeah.”

“Hughie?”

“Yes?”

“Billy’s a fucking liar. I don’t have to touch someone to control their mind.”

*

You pulled the car into a nearby alley and rested your head against the window. You could control people by not touching them but it was hard and it drained a lot of your energy. You felt a pang of guilt at tricking Hughie but you needed to get out of there. Maybe this was the lesson he needed to see that Butcher wasn’t any good for him and he’ll probably end up dead.

You groaned as you felt sleep coming over you. You looked around briefly. It was night and nobody was coming over and bothering you. You curled up in a ball and shut your eyes. You just needed a little nap then you could continue on your journey. All you needed was an hour, maybe two hours max, and then you’d be on your way.

*

A bang on the window made you jump. You smack your head on the roof of the car and glared up at Butcher. He was laughing at your pain but you could see the anger in his eyes.

“Open the door now.”

“Fucking make me arsehole.”

He raised an eyebrow and held up a crowbar. You just groaned and unlocked the car. You didn’t fancy getting covered in broken glass.

“Move.”

“Excuse me?” you asked

“I’m driving.”

“Like fuck you are.”

“Would you like me to use to crowbar you cunt?”

You glared at him before sighing and moving into the passenger seat. Butcher gave you that same smug shit eating grin that made you want to punch him as he took your old seat.

“Happy now you cunt?”

“Ecstatic.”

You rolled your eyes as you turned your back on him and curled back up.

“You sound it.”

“Shitty thing you did to Hughie.”

You winced and cursed because you knew that Butcher had seen it. You couldn’t afford to let any weakness slip through.

“Yeah well, it could’ve been worse.”

“Meaning?”

You looked over your shoulder and grinned.

“I could’ve removed memories or added some. After all the times we’ve met how much of your memories do you think are still your own.”

There was a brief flash of uncertainty in Butcher’s eyes and you knew you had him. You planted the seed of doubt.

“You’re lying.” He said eventually

“Am I?”

“You wouldn’t tell me something like that if you didn’t have a chance to fight back, just trying to get inside my head. You’re weak, pathetic. I could kill you now.”

“Then why don’t you? Kill me and dump my body somewhere.”

“Because you still owe me ten fucking grand.”

“Still on about that?”

“Yep,” he started the car, “And you’re not leaving until I get back every penny.”

“Yeah, right,” you shut your eyes again, “I’m going to try and get some sleep. And Butcher?”

“What?”

“Tell Hughie I’m sorry for taking control of his mind. Needs must and all that.”

“Whatever.”

You swore loudly when music suddenly blasted out of the speakers. You glared at Butcher who seemed to be concentrating solely on driving.

“Cunt.”

“Bitch.”


	3. Chapter 3

“You want me to do what?”

You were sitting on a sofa and looked up at Butcher who was standing in front of you, his arms crossed. You shook your head in disbelief. You had regained some of your energy and you were eating some sugary snacks to up your blood sugar level.

“If this is your way on saving a bullet Butcher than I’ve got to commend you for it. Suicide by Homelander, fucking brilliant!”

“Well if you’re as good as you say you are then you won’t fucking die will you?”

“Oh I’m good alright,” you snapped standing up, “I’m the fucking best at controlling non-supe minds. You know, one track minds who only think about blowing Homelander up. I try and avoid superpowered nut jobs who could kill me just by looking at me!”

“You’re over reacting.”

“Over reacting!” you yelled, “You’re not the one putting their life on the line so you can find out what fucking kinks Homelander is into!”

“That’s not what this is about!”

“Oh really? Well then, why don’t you enlighten me on what it’s really about!”

Hughie looked over at MM and Frenchie. The other two men were watching the fight with curiosity.

“Do you think we should stop them?” he asked eventually

French snorted while MM just shook his head.

“Best not to,” MM said, “I wouldn’t want to get in between those two.”

“Just watch the show,” said Frenchie as he rolled a cigarette, “Far less dangerous and more entertaining.”

Hughie turned back to look at you and Butcher. You had jumped to your feet and was jabbing him in the chest.

“I’m not going to be a part of your fucking Charge of the Light Brigade bullshit!”

“If you do your fucking job properly then none of us will die! Besides, I doubt he’d try anything with all those people there. You’re being paranoid.”

“Oh that’s rich coming from you. You haven’t even told me what I’m looking for!”

“Anything.”

“Oh wow,” you rolled your eyes, “Real specific. If you’re not going to trust me enough to tell me what I’m looking for then I’m done!”

You started to walk away but Butcher quickly reached out and grabbed your arm. You winced at his bruising grip and Hughie made a step towards you. However MM put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head.

“Wait.” He said quietly, “Just watch.”

“Anything on Compound V.” Butcher said eventually

“On what?”

“Compound V,” he said, “It’s some sort of drug that supes take.”

“Right. And what the fuck is Compound V?”

“We know A-Train is taking it and I want to know what it is.”

You took a deep breath.

“I must be mad,” you muttered, “Tell you what, I’ll do it.”

“Fucking brilliant.”

“But I won’t do Homelander, too risky. I’ll read A-Train’s mind instead.”

“But-“

“Or I can wipe your memory of this.”

You looked at where he was touching and he quickly let go.

“Fine,” he said eventually, “A-Train it is. You better not fuck this up.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it. The sooner I do this the sooner I’m away from you.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it love.”

*

You grimaced as a rush of people pushed you against Butcher. You both glared at each other but as you stepped away a hand clapped down on your shoulder.

“Don’t think I’m letting you anywhere out of my sight,” he hissed quietly before letting go, “You have a job to do then you owe me my money.”

“And here I am, risking my life,” you said, “You’d think that this would lessen the debt somewhat.”

“You also still have my gun.”

“I like that gun.”

“Well I liked-“

“Will you two please be quiet,” MM’s voice crackled in your ear, “A-Train is out.”

“Showtime love,” Butcher whispered into your ear, “Try not to fuck things up.”

You took a deep breath and tried to ignore the man next to you. You shut your eyes and grabbed Butcher’s wrist and you started poking around in people’s minds. Butcher frowned at your action and gritted his teeth. If this meant you could get into that supe’s head he could tolerate it.

You hoped from mind to mind, all of them thinking something similar. Excitement about the race, fear of A-Train losing his title, relationship failures, lust over Starlight or Homelander or any other supe. The last one made your grip on Butcher tighten. Strong emotions such as lust were always tricky to fight through but eventually you hit your target.

You weren’t surprised about what you found in A-Train’s mind. Sex, running, money, sex, winning, sex, drugs. Mainly about sex with his girlfriend and you wrinkled your nose in disgust. Still, you forced you way through, trying to find any information around Compound V.

Then it hit you.

Like a fucking freight train.

You let out a shriek of pain and let go of Butcher, your connection to A-Train severed. You collapsed on the ground, gripping your head and you whimpered in pain.

“What’s the matter?” someone asked

“Is she alright?” asked another

“Yeah, yeah,” said Butcher, “Must be a migraine of something, she’ll be fine. Come on,” this was whispered to you, “Get up.”

“Can’t,” you said weakly, “Too much pain.”

“For fucks sake.”

You didn’t have time to protest before you were scooped up into Butcher’s arms. You struggled weakly and tried to get out.

“Put me down!”

“You were making a scene,” he hissed, “I needed to get you out of there. Trust me, I like this just as much as you do.”

“I can walk.”

“Bullshit, you can’t even open your eyes.”

“Why do you care so much about me?” you muttered

Butcher was silent until he reached he van. He gently put you down before opening it and ushering you inside.

“You still owe me my ten grand.” He said, “Can’t have you dying before you pay me back.”

You grunted in response still clutching your head.

“And you’re useful.”

“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” you said, “You know, when you’re not calling me a cunt or threatening to kill me.”

“You’re a useful cunt.”

“Aww, I think you’re starting to like me you old bastard.”

Your eyes were still closed so you didn’t see the corners of Butcher’s mouth twitch.

“Don’t push your luck and I’m not old!”


	4. Chapter 4

“Are you alright?”

You groaned at Hughie’s question.

“I have a migraine to end all migraines,” you said quietly, “How the fuck do you think I’m feeling?”

“Right, of course.”

An awkward silence fell between you. Butcher and Frenchie had left the van so it was just you, Hughie and MM left. You were glad to be away from Butcher’s presence for a while. You sighed and tried to sit up but you were too weak. Hughie put a hand on your shoulder to help you up but you shook you head.

“M’fine,” you said, “Look, I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok.”

“It isn’t. Butcher’s a twat for dragging you into this. He’s a bastard for dragging all of you into this.”

MM grunted in agreement while Hughie spluttered,

“I wanted to. I wanted to avenge-“

“Robin. Yeah I know.”

“How did-“Hughie cut himself off and shook his head, “You read my mind.”

You winced at the betrayal in his voice.

“I really can’t turn it off,” you said, “When people have particularly strong thoughts they just… appear in my head. Your hatred for A-Train is very strong. I’m surprised he can’t feel it himself whenever you’re near him.”

A ripple a pain shot through you head and you whimpered slightly.

“Butcher must be loving this.” You said

“Why do you say that?” asked MM

“Well I’m in pain aren’t I?”

“What’s the deal between you two anyway?” MM asked turning around to face you, “Half the time I don’t know if you want to kill each other or fuck each other.”

You opened your eyes, despite the pain, and glared at him.

“There is nothing I’d rather do less than fuck that man,” you said, “Hate isn’t a strong enough word for what I feel for him. I’d rather snog Homelander than that man.”

“Fucking hell,” said MM, “That bad?”

“You have no idea.”

“So what happened?” asked Hughie, “If you want to talk about it that is. You don’t have to if you-“

You interrupted him by waving a hand.

“It’s nothing dramatic,” you said, “Just nicked some money from him that’s all.”

“You stole money from Butcher?” asked Hughie

“Yep.”

“And you got away with it?” asked MM

“Kind of.”

“Kind of?”

“Well I got the money but the bastard found out who I was,” another rippled of pain passed over your head and you clutched it, “Fuck, I shouldn’t have listened to him.”

The door of the van swung open with a bang and you let out another cry of pain. You felt a comforting hand on your shoulder and you smiled slightly. Hughie really was a good person. You vaguely heard Butcher’s laugh over the ringing pain.

“Did that deliberately you prick.”

“Did what deliberately?”

“You fucking know what you-“

“That’s enough,” yelled MM, “Sorry,” he added quickly when he noticed you wince, “Did you find out what it is?”

“Yep. I’ll explain later,” Butcher slammed the back of the can again and moved around to the front, “Right now we’ve got to get out of here.”

“Why are you doing this?” you asked grasping your head

“Oh y/n,” Butcher said looking back at you, “Your pain brings me a special kind of joy.”

You didn’t answer back but frowned when you felt a packet land on you. You opened your eyes a crack and saw that they were painkillers. You looked up and Frenchie shrugged.

“For your head,” he explained, “Can’t have you being like that forever.”

“What Frenchie is actually saying,“ said Butcher, “Is to stop being a useless cunt.”

“Thanks Frenchie,” you muttered, “Hey MM?”

“What?”

“When I murder Butcher will you help me hide the body?”

“Heard that!”

“Good!”


	5. Chapter 5

You opened your eyes and rubbed them when the blinding morning light peaked through the curtains. You were eternally gratefully to Frenchie for giving you the painkillers and your head was feeling a lot better. You looked around the room and grimaced at your surroundings.

Butcher had been forced to take you in. Hughie, Frenchie and MM were staking out the possible V suppliers and they had made Butcher, in his words, babysit you. You had protested, saying that you had your own place and could look after yourself. That seemed to be the only thing that you and Butcher agreed on and you almost wanted to go with him out of pure spite. However, MM disagreed. You were still weak after your run in with A-Train and you needed someone with you. Reluctantly Butcher agreed and promptly dumped you on his sofa.

You slowly made your way off the sofa and looked towards Butcher’s room. He was snoring loudly and you rolled your eyes. Of course he would snore, why weren’t you surprised? You walked over to his fridge and opened it. You closed your eyes and shook your head.

“Men,” you muttered, “Why do they never have anything worth eating?”

You opened cupboards, your frustration growing when you found a surprising lack of food in his flat. Eventually you grabbed a piece of paper and wrote:

_‘You have no fucking food so someone has gone out to get some. If you wake up before I’m back don’t come looking for me or shoot me as I will be back. I’ve even left you this fucking note as a courtesy you wanker.’_

*

Butcher was awakened by the smell of frying bacon. It took him a second to remember where he was and that he was in his own flat and not with some random one night stand. He dragged himself out of bed and made his way to the kitchen.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he asked

“Cooking,” you said, “You had no food so I went out and got some.”

“Let me guess, you stole it.”

“Do you expect anything less?”

You turned around, looked at him, before quickly spinning back around.

“Put some fucking clothes on!” you said blushing

Butcher smirked at your reaction. Who would’ve guessed that you were get so embarrassed?

“What’s the matter love? Like what you see?”

“No!”

“You want to think about that?”

“No!”

“And here I thought we’re being all cosy and domestic. You making me breakfast after a long night of-“

“Me repeatedly stabbing you with this knife,” you waved a large kitchen knife, “Sounds like a plan _dear_.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way. When’s breakfast ready? I’m starving.”

“Oh you wanted some?” you asked innocently, “I made just enough for myself. You’ll have to find something else to eat.”

*

“I’m surprised.”

“What about?”

“That you hadn’t poisoned this.”

“I did look for rat poison but I couldn’t find it,” you sighed, “So I had to make do with salt and pepper.”

“Very funny.”

“It’s true.”

“I don’t doubt you for a second.”

You smiled slightly and took another forkful of eggs. It was strange eating with Butcher and you didn’t know if you liked it or not. You didn’t want to get too comfortable with him seeing as you were planning on leaving as soon as possible.

“Why did you leave?” you asked eventually

“Leave where?”

“London.”

“Why?” he snapped, “Why do you care? That’s none of your business anyway.”

“Geeze,” you held up your hands, “Just asking. We’re going to be working together so I thought we might as well get to know each other.”

Butcher grunted as the two of you fell into an awkward silence.

“I left to get anyway from my parents.” You said eventually

“I really couldn’t care less.”

“They used me y’know.”

“Used you?”

You smiled knowing that you had piqued his interest.

“Not everyone uses their powers for good,” you said, “My parents used mine for their own selfish needs. Stealing items, robbing people, cheating at cards. You name it I’ve done it, in relation to robbing people that is. I’ll leave the killing side of things to you.”

“How generous.”

“And yet,” you sighed and put your fork down, “I can’t bring myself to hate them. Do you want to know something we used to do?”

“No.”

“We used to watch the Antiques Roadshow.”

“Your parents must’ve hated you.”

“Shut up! I know it was just to get me able to tell high priced, valuable antiques from the rubbish but during that hour it was like we were a normal fucking family. Just guessing how much or little things were worth. Laughing when one of us was way off the actual price. It was… nice.”

Butcher looked up at you. You gave him a sad smile and he quickly looked away.

“Sounds like shit.”

“To you maybe but to me it was escapism.”

“Why are you telling me this? Why do you think I care about you at all?”

“I know you don’t care about me,” you sighed, “I’m just showing you that not all of us are complete evil.”

“If you think we’re going to have some kind of fucking heart to heart you’re wrong,” said Butcher, “I really don’t give a fuck about you or your fucking shitty parents. Just do your job, give me back what you owe me and then live the rest of your life.”

He stood up and put his plate in the sink with a loud clatter. He stormed off into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. You winced at the noise then sighed. That could’ve gone a lot worse than it did.

At least you were still alive for the time being.


	6. Chapter 6

You walked into the hide out carefully counting the dollar bills and splitting the amount in half. One thing that you always had to be careful of was double checking the number on the bills. It was something you still couldn’t get your head around, how each on them looked very similar. After making sure that there were near equal amounts you pocketed one and pulled out a small bag.

“What are you doing?”

You jumped and looked over your shoulder. Hughie was standing in the doorway looking at you suspiciously. You sighed and sat down on the sofa.

“You’re back early. How was your date?”

“Yeah it was-“ he glare at you, “Don’t change the subject.”

“Just making polite conversation.”

“Yeah well, why do you have all that money? And where did you get that bag from?”

“This?” you kicked the bag lightly, “Popped out and got it while you guys were out.”

“I thought Butcher told you to stay here.”

“When have I ever listened to what Butcher wants?”

“You’ve got a point.”

“As for this,” you waved the money at him, “I’m slowly paying off Butcher’s debt.”

“You’re actually doing that?”

“Of course! If I don’t and just leave I know he’s going to end up chasing me. I can’t escape, I tried to once and that failed so I’m just going to pay him off then leave. Sometimes it’s just best to swallow your pride.”

“How do you get the money? You don’t have a job. Unless you do and-“

“Hughie, you’re smart. How do you think I got it?”

“You stole it!”

“Yep.”

“But why?”

“Because I can. There are people in this world who won’t notice if a couple of hundred dollars go missing. Besides, I really don’t think Butcher will care how I get his money as long as I do.” You leant back on the sofa and looked at Hughie out of the corner of your eye, “Now it’s your turn.”

“What do you mean?”

“You never told me how your little date with Starlight went.”

“With Annie?” Hughie sighed, “It went well, really well. I had a great time but-“

“But then you hacked her phone like Butcher told you to.”

“Among other things.”

“Oh?”

“Y/n, if I ask you something will you be honest?”

“I always am.”

Hughie sat down next to you and took a deep breath.

“Do you think it’s too soon?”

“What is?”

“After Robin,” Hughie twisted his hands nervously, “For me to go on a… on a date again? While I was with Annie I kept thinking back to Robin. I loved Robin and I got involved because I wanted to get justice for her but now I’m doubting whether or not I’m doing this for the right reasons.”

You were silent for a moment, thinking over what Hughie had told you.

“It depends,” you said at last, “What do you think the right reasons are? It you’d ask Butcher he’d tell you that all of this, tricking Annie, is for _your_ benefit. For you to get avenge Robin by bringing down the Seven. But from what you told us Starlight, sorry, Annie sounds miserable. It sounds like she’s in a situation that expects her to act like a good little doll and to put up and shut up. Butcher will tell you that it’s her fault for getting involved but-“

You broke off and ran your fingers through your hair.

“It sounds like you genuinely care for Annie. It’s hardly your fault that you met her so soon after Robin’s death but if you like her and she makes you happy then go for it.”

“But-“

“But what about you hacking her phone? Listen, how blunt do you want me to be?”

“As blunt as you need to be.”

Your lips twitched and you were relieved to see Hughie smiling back.

“You must’ve known what was going to happen when you signed up for this. Surely blowing up Translucent gave you some idea? Frenchie told me before you ask. You could’ve refused to do it but you didn’t,” you held up your hand when Hughie opened his mouth, “I’m sure there’s time to change it. You’re a compute wiz aren’t you? Reverse it. I’m sure there’s other ways of getting to the Seven which doesn’t involve sabotaging your happiness.”

You put a hand on Hughie’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

“And if you need anyone to back you up you know just who to ask.”

“You will?”

“I’m always looking for an opportunity to tell Butcher to fuck off.”

“Thanks y/n.”

“Don’t mention it.”

For the first time it seemed like the two of you understood one another. Forced into a situation all because of Billy Butcher. A click of a gun shattered the moment and made the two of you freeze as a voice said,

“If I were you I’d remove your hand right fucking now unless you want to lose it.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Well,” Butcher said coldly, “Are you going to be a good girl and do as you’re told?”

“How much of that did you hear?” you asked

“Enough. Now are you going to let him go or am I going to have to shoot that pretty head of yours?”

You sighed before dramatically removing your hand. Hughie opened his mouth but you shook your head. Arguing with a pissed off Butcher who was pointing a gun at you wasn’t going to be good for anyone’s health.

“Fucking finally.”

You relaxed when Butcher put away his gun and walked into the room. MM was carrying an unconscious Frenchie and a stranger. You frowned and looked between the two of them.

“What happened? You’ve taken up kidnapping now?”

“She’s,” MM gently put her down, “The girl we told you about. Remember, the psycho who tried to kill all of us.”

“Then why is she unconscious?”

“What part of ‘tried to kill all of us’ don’t you understand?” said Butcher

“And that’s why Frenchie’s unconscious as well?”

“He tried to reason with her,” said MM, “As you can see, with little success.”

“Which is where you come in.” said Butcher

“Me? What do I have to do with any of this?”

“You’re going to read the cunt’s fucking mind.”

“Excuse me? Don’t I get a choice in the matter?”

Hughie had stood up and MM put the girl on the sofa. He left the room and dumped Frenchie on a bed before coming back in and standing next to Hughie. You and Butcher were glaring at each other again and MM said quietly,

“We should probably leave. I have a feeling that this is going to be nastier than usual.”

“Shouldn’t we stay,” said Hughie uncertainly, “What if y/n-“

“She can handle herself. Trust me.”

Reluctantly Hughie nodded and followed MM. He gave the two of you one last glance before leaving the hide out. Neither you nor Butcher seemed to noticed them leaving.

“Why should I?” you asked

“Because we might find out what V is if we do.”

“Might,” you laughed, “You want me to invade her mind for some information that _might_ be there.”

“Fine. Information that is definitely in her mind.”

“Oh no,” you started walking away, “You’ve seen her, she looks like shit. I’m not forcing my way into her mind when she’s already been through enough.”

“But you had no problem doing that to me and Hughie. How many other minds have you read?”

“I feel awful about what I did to Hughie!” you snapped, “As for reading people’s minds, I only do that when I have to. This poor girl has been abused and I’m not going to play a part in furthering her pain.”

You managed to take a couple of steps towards the door before Butcher grabbed a hold of your shoulders. He slammed you against the wall and leant in close.

“Strange time to get some fucking morals,” he hissed, “And here I thought you were completely unprincipled.”

You struggled against his grip but Butcher took a step closer, pinning you against the wall. You shuddered when you felt his breath ghost over you cheek and you moved your head away.

“I’ve always been principled,” you said, “I’ve always had morals part of which includes not reading the minds of people who clearly need help. What this girl needs is proper help and not to get dragged into your shit show of a life.”

“You’re part of this team now, whether you like it or not. So do as you are told!”

“You’ve changed your tune. What happened to wanting to kill me?”

“I never- Right now we have more important things to be doing. You’re going to read her mind. Right now.”

“Make me.”

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. You moved your head so you were looking at Butcher directly. When you moved you realised the lack of distance between the two of you. Your chests were pressed together and there was less than an inch between the two of you. Butcher’s gaze dropped before snapping back up to your eyes. Then he growled. His grip tightened and he brought you closer towards him before he-

Slammed you back against the wall and stepped away.

“Fine,” he spat, “If you won’t fucking do it I’ll find someone else who can. You’re a fucking cowardly cunt.”

You rubbed your shoulder as you stood up glaring at him.

“I’m sorry I’m more concerned about her health than helping you.”

“One day,” said Butcher who had turned his back on you, “One day you’re going to come crawling to me for help. And do you know what I’m going to say?”

“What?”

“I will laugh. I’ll laugh and say no. You can fuck off now, I don’t even want to look at you.”

You took a deep breath and walked towards the door. Just before you left you turned around and said,

“One day you’re going to beg for me to stay and do you know what I’m going to do?”

When Butcher didn’t answer you let out a bitter laugh.

“I’ll leave and never look back.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Backstory time!

It had been five days since you had seen any of the Boys. You had previously given Hughie, and only Hughie, your mobile number and he had been texting you updates. According to him Butcher was more than pissed at you which made you feel slightly happy. Anything that caused Butcher displeasure was the right thing to do.

Currently you were sitting in a small dirty bar nursing a glass of whiskey. You smiled slightly, it reminded you of when he found you again. You took a sip of your drink and sighed. If only you had stayed away from that casino then none of this would’ve happened. You closed your eyes as you thought back to when you first met him.

*

_You tended to avoid casinos. It wasn’t as if you had an issue robbing them but you were just wary in case anyone found out about your powers. Places these days were installing more anti-telepath measures and it made your job very difficult._

_You sipped your drink as you observed the crowd. You tended to just cheat at cards, not too much in case you were found out but just enough to earn a descent amount. However tonight you weren’t really feeling like gambling. You had been pushing your luck a bit too much recently and you decided instead to do an old fashioned robbery. Not the kindest thing to do but people should expect to lose money in a casino._

_Your eyes fell on a group on men, not unusual in a place like this. However it was only one man you were interested in. A wild mass on dark brown almost black hair, the start of a beard and wearing the most hideous Hawaiian shirt you had ever seen. But it wasn’t his questionable sense of fashion you were interested in, it was his money. He had just won a large amount and it was currently located in a black bag. One of his companions nudged the man and he looked over at you. You smiled and raised your glass before moving over to the bar._

_“And what’s a beautiful woman like yourself doing alone in a place like this?”_

_You smiled and looked over, expecting the man. Your smile quickly faded when you realised that it wasn’t. The stranger moved towards you causing you to try and move away._

_“Excuse me,” you said, “I’m waiting for a friend.”_

_“Then in the meantime let me keep you company.”_

_An arm moved around you waist and tried to pull you closer._

_“I said no!”_

_“And I said-“_

_“The lady said no so why don’t you just fuck off.”_

_You relaxed when you saw that it was the man from earlier. He was glaring at you assailant who quickly let you go. He continued to glare at him until he ran away then he took the place next to you._

_“Thank you.” You said and you genuinely meant it_

_“Don’t mention it.”_

_“Can I buy you a drink to say thank you?”_

_“Shouldn’t I offer you that?”_

_“What can I say, maybe I like the roles reversed for a change.”_

_You looked him up and down and smiled. He returned it and you signalled the bartender over to you._

_“I’m y/n.”_

_“Billy.”_

*

You finished you drink and sighed. If you had known how much trouble getting that money would’ve caused you never would’ve touched it. There were plenty more stupid, rich cunts in that place that you could’ve stolen from. You just so happened to steal from the only smart person in the room. Someone sitting down heavily beside you and made you jump.

It was Butcher.

He looked at you and ran his fingers through his hair.

“You look like shit,” he said, “Where have you been.”

“Avoiding you.”

“Yeah, well, you need to come back.”

“Do I.”

“Hughie’s moping, MM won’t stop looking like he wants to kill me and Frenchie won’t speak to me.”

“And the girl you kidnapped?”

“Firstly I didn’t kidnap her-“

“You have a strange definition of kidnap.”

“And secondly it’s complicated. It’ll be better if we speak in private.”

“I don’t know,” you rested your chin on your hand, “Butcher, I really don’t give a fuck about the crusade you’re on. The only reason why I haven’t left yet is because of that money. As long as I owe it to you you’ll keep chasing me around the country until I pay it back. I’d rather focus on paying it back then getting involved in whatever this is. Ok?”

“Right. Of course. Look about what I said-“

A loud shout made the two of you look over. The group of men were playing pool and when they noticed you looking over they started jeering and cat calling. You both looked at each other and you didn’t need to read his mind to know what Butcher was thinking.

“How about,” you said, “We put my powers to the test and see if I can win back some of that money I owe you?”

*

_When Butcher woke up the first thing he noticed was that he was tied to the bed. He tried to pull free but whoever had tied to knots had done a good job. He looked over at the bathroom door and you exited. You looked shocked to see him awake._

_“Hi.” You said_

_“Is this how you treat every guy you fuck?” he snapped, “Untie me!”_

_“We didn’t actually fuck you know.”_

_“Yeah, whatever, just untie me and I promise I won’t kill you.”_

_“I’d rather not take that chance.”_

_You walked to the other side of the room and picked up the bag. This caused Butcher to try and free himself even more but you just sighed._

_“You’re not getting out anytime soon. So I’d just relax if I were you and try not to cut up your wrists.”_

_“You cunt.”_

_“Oh please, I’ve been called worse things by better people.”_

_You quickly looked through his coat and pulled out his gun._

_“I’m keeping this,” you said waving it at him, “For protection.”_

_You pocketed it and walked over to him. You grabbed him chin and forced him to look you in the eyes._

_“Now then,” you said quietly, “I want you to **forget all about me**.”_


	9. Chapter 9

You were the most infuriating person that Butcher had ever met. Well, maybe not _the_ most infuriating person but certainly one of them. Butcher gritted his teeth and tightly gripped his glass when your image entered his head.

“You need to find her.”

He looked up sharply at MM. He snorted and turned away.

“Why?” he said, “She’s probably off finding what she owes me then she can fuck off for all I care.”

“That isn’t true.”

“She’s just like the rest of those fucking supe cunts,” he took a large swig of whiskey, “We don’t need her.”

“What you mean is you think you don’t need her.”

“ _We_ don’t need her. _We_ can’t afford the bullshit she drags along with her.”

“That bullshit belongs to both of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your history with her,” said MM sitting next to Butcher, “You made a point of going out and actually finding her, which was not an easy job by the way. You wanted her to work with us.”

“I wanted my fucking money back.”

“Then why wait until now to go find her?”

Butcher opened his mouth to snap back but closed it again. The truth was he didn’t have an answer to that and by the look on MM’s face he knew that too. MM was lucky that Butcher still had whiskey in his glass and that he didn’t want to waste it by throwing it at him.

“You need to go out and find her.”

“If y/n wants to come back then she knows where we are,” said Butcher, “I’m not her fucking caretaker.”

“Hughie’s miserable, Frenchie’s ignoring you and I’m getting pissed off at your attitude. Although you won’t admit it you care about her.”

“I don’t fucking care about the stupid supe cunt!”

“Then why have you been in a bad mood since she left? You get angry whenever we even so much as mention her name.”

“Then you go and find her if you care so much about her.”

“None of us have an issue with her,” said MM as he stood up and started to walk away, “Find her. Talk to her. You need to fucking apologise.”

When MM had left Butcher gritted his teeth and had to take several deep breaths. He hated you. The way you always answered him back, refusing to back down. The way you weren’t afraid of him and how much he liked that. He liked the fact that you stood up to him although a small part, a small dark part that he thought was gone, wanted you to submit to him.

He hated the fact that you’re a supe, that you could be so much more than you currently are. Yet you were down here with the rest of them. He hated that smug grin you gave him when you were right and that half smile you hardly ever gave him. The genuine one that he had only seen once but you seemed happy to direct at all the other member of the Boys.

He hated the way he couldn’t get the feeling of your body under his out of his head. The glare you gave him so full of hatred but your pupils blown widen. The way he wanted to press you close towards him and never let you go. To hold on and for you to need him. He needed you to need him even though he knew you didn’t and never would.

He finished his drink and slammed the glass on the table. He grabbed his coat and left determined to find you if it was the last thing he did. He was going to get to the bottom of these… feelings.

Whether he hated you because you were a supe or because you were making him move on from Becca.


	10. Chapter 10

You and Butcher ran through the streets pushing people out of the way. Angry shouts followed you by neither of you paid them any attention. Your sole focus was getting as far away from that bar as possible.

“I told you poker was a bad idea.” You yelled

“Well how I was supposed to know someone would be looking at our cards?” he yelled back, “You’re the fucking telepath.”

“I told you to stick with pool! Less chance of people cheating that way!”

“How the fuck does that work?”

“I’ll explain later. Right now we need to hide.”

Butcher suddenly came to a stop and you crashed into him. You looked over your shoulder nervously. While the two of you hard a head start that was quickly closing. Butcher turned around and gripped your arms.

“Do you trust me?” Butcher asked

“What? Fuck no!”

“Well tough luck.”

You cried out when he suddenly dragged into a nearby alley. You struggled in his grip but Butcher was a lot strong than you. When he was about half way down the alley he slammed you against the wall. Memories of last week flashed across your mind but instead of yelling at you he lifted you up.

“What are you-“

“Shh,” he slapped a hand over your mouth, “And for once trust me.”

You couldn’t do much expect nod and Butcher smiled at you. He lifted you up slightly higher and automatically your legs wrapped around his waist. He rested his head against your shoulder and you realised his plan as he removed his hand from your mouth. The sound of running feet made you tense but Butcher’s hand was in your hair.

“Relax,” he whispered, “And don’t overthink this.”

“It’s pretty hard to relax due to where you’re standing.”

Butcher let out a low laugh and you shuddered when you felt his breath across your neck.

“Love,” he said, “Don’t talk about things being hard when I’m standing between your legs.”

You tensed and looked away. You saw the outline of people in the alley and you opened your mouth but Butcher quickly turned your head back to face him.

“Look at me,” he growled, “Not at them.”

“Anyone in there?” said one voice

“Ugh, no, just two people fucking. You’d think they’d get a room.”

As the sound of their voices and footsteps disappeared you relaxed.

“They’re gone.” You said

“I know.”

“You can put me down now.”

When Butcher didn’t reply you tapped his shoulder.

“Butcher.”

“Have you ever thought,” he said so quietly you almost missed it, “About what we could be if we put our differences aside?”

“Is now really the time for this conversation?”

“I have you right where I want you, any other time and you’ll just avoid it. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the past five days.”

“About what?”

“About how much I fucking despise you.”

“Good to know we’re on the same page about that. You can put me down now.”

“And yet I couldn’t get you out of my head. I want you to be part of my team even after you paid my back what you owe me. I want you by my side.”

Butcher gripped your chin forcing you to look at him.

“You’ll never have to worry about me chasing you again,” he said, “We’ll look out for each other.”

“What are you trying to say? Do you still hate me?”

“With a passion.”

It was then that you noticed him leaning closer. It was so unusual to see Butcher unsure about anything that you were momentarily stunned. At the last moment you pulled your chin free from Butcher’s grip. His lips grazed your cheek, his beard scratching it. A thick silence fell between you as he rested his head on his shoulder.

“No,” you said, “No I’m not staying. Once you’ve got your money I’m gone. I made this perfectly clear. Whatever this is isn’t real. You’re just caught up in the moment.”

“Right.”

You were dropped to the ground and you winced when you landed awkwardly. You were sprawled at Butcher’s feet and when you looked up at him you saw that same cold hatred in his eyes that you knew were in yours.

“You’ve made up your mind then.” He said

“As soon as you dragged me into this mess, yes.”

He started walking away leaving you where you were.

“Get up and hurry up. We have a long night ahead of us.”


	11. Chapter 11

As soon as you and Butcher walked into the hide out everyone could tell that something had happened between the two of you. You pushed past him and while Butcher glared at you he didn’t say anything. You had your arms wrapped around yourself in a defensive position but you relaxed when you saw Hughie jump to his feet.

“You’re back,” he said, “I didn’t… None of us… I’m glad you’re back.”

“Same,” you said, “I missed you.”

Butcher snorted but you ignored him. Hughie gave you a strained smile and his eyes flickered briefly over to Butcher but you shook your head. What had happened between the two of you was going to stay just that, there was no need to get the others involved. You staggered forward slightly when MM slapped you on the back.

“Good to have you back kid,” he said, “Was worried that only one of you would return.”

“We had bets on who would kill each other.” Said Frenchie

“I hope you all thought I would come out on top.”

You realised what you had said and you quickly looked at Butcher. He tensed for a second before walking away.

“Don’t overestimate yourself love,” Butcher said, “You’re not as good as you think you are.”

“What’s his problem?” asked MM

“You know what he’s like,” you said, “Wasn’t exactly the friendliest and he-“

A movement made you stop. The girl that Butcher wanted you to read the mind of had entered the room. She stared at you suspiciously when she spotted you.

“Hey.” You said raising a hand

“Y/n Kimiko, Kimiko y/n,” said Frenchie, “She’s mute.”

“Oh,” you said awkwardly, “Right. It’s nice to meet you.”

Kimiko smiled at you before turning back to Frenchie. The soft look he gave her almost made your heart melt and you quickly turned away. You didn’t regret what you had said to Butcher. You didn’t plan on staying and there was nothing he could do to make to stay. His hatred of supes would get in the way of ever being a healthy relationship. If there was ever something that could get rid of or block your powers you wouldn’t take it. Your powers made you who you are and you would never give that up.

You sat down on the sofa next to Hughie and tried to ignore Butcher’s eyes on you. It was probably a mistake coming back but you missed your friend. If there was one good thing that Butcher had done it was bring you and Hughie together. You weren’t about to let him ruin that.

*

Later you had to leave the hide out and get away from the bubbling tension. You took a deep breath of the cool night air and leant against the wall. Things had remained tense in there are you were grateful for the break.

“So, what happened between you and Butcher?”

You looked over your shoulder at Frenchie who was rolling a cigarette. He offered it to and you took it. He held out a lighter and you took a deep drag. You had tried to give up smoking but with limited success. Times like these always made you fall off the wagon.

“Nothing.” You replied eventually, “Just Butcher being Butcher.”

Frenchie looked at you suspiciously as he lit his own cigarette. It was clear that he didn’t believe you but it also looked like he wasn’t going to push the issue.

“I’m surprised that he let another supe in.” you said

“Kimiko?” Frenchie let out a laugh, “He didn’t have much of a choice.”

“You’re doing?”

“Who else?”

“You care about her.”

Frenchie looked at you out of the corner of his eye but he didn’t deny it. You smiled knowing that you were right. Everyone deserved happiness in this world.

“He cares about you, you know that right?”

“Who does?”

“Who do you think.”

You sighed as you put out your cigarette.

“No he doesn’t. If I was in the way of his plans he wouldn’t hesitate in killing me. I’m just another expendable supe to him.”

“You know how much time he spent tracking you down.”

“That just shows that he’s an obsessive and possessive bastard. Proves nothing.”

“He went to look for you.”

“Only after five days and I bet that one of you lot spoke to him before hand.”

You shivered slightly, the night air suddenly becoming cold rather than refreshing. Frenchie shrugged off his jacket and threw it to you. You caught it with a confused expression.

“Can’t have you freezing to death,” he muttered, “You just got back.”

“Going to wait a couple of days before you off me?” you asked putting on the jacket

“Give it a week. Depends on how much you piss off Butcher.”

“Will that save me or quicken my death sentence.”

When Frenchie didn’t answer you just rolled your eyes and playfully nudged him. He pushed you back and being a lot stronger he pushed you into the wall.

“Bastard.” You said rubbing your shoulder

“You started it.”

“And let me guess, you’re going to end it.”

“Haven’t I?”

“Not yet!”

You pushed at Frenchie causing him to drop his half-finished cigarette. He looked at the floor then back at you. You held up your hands and started backing away.

“Let me begin,” you said, “By saying how much I’ve always admired and respected you. The way you shoved that explosive up-“

You bumped into a warm and solid surface. You froze and looked into the face for Butcher. He gave you a stony look before glancing at Frenchie. His brows furrowed as he looked between the two of you then he snorted.

“Typical.” He said before walking away

“What was that about?” you asked when he had left

Frenchie just gave you a knowing smile before nodding at his jacket. You rolled your eyes as you handed it back.

“Men.”

You started walking back into the hide out when Frenchie called out to you.

“Being around Butcher tends to shorten your life span,” he said as he rolled another cigarette and suddenly very serious, “If I were you I wouldn’t hesitate in doing something or someone you want to. You never know when you might be dead.”

“What, like you and Kimiko?”

Frenchie gave you a knowing smile and you looked away. If he was right then it would be better if you left sooner rather than later.


	12. Chapter 12

It was a rare occasion when it was just you and Butcher in the hide out. While tensions had eased over the past couple of days everyone could still tell that something had happened between you. Hughie had tried to ask you about it but you kept dodging the questions. You knew that MM and Frenchie had questioned Butcher if the shouting and swearing you heard the other day was anything to go by.

You were currently looking through the kitchen cupboards trying to find something to eat. The lack of food was almost as bad as in Butcher’s place but luck was on you side. You pulled out a can of tomatoes and some dried pasta and started rooting about in the other cupboards.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

You raised your head suddenly and banged it on the top of the cupboard. You clutched it cursing in pain as you looked over at Butcher. He was leaning against the wall seemingly smiling at your pain.

“You’re finding this funny?”

“I find your pain amusing.”

“Prick.”

You turned away and pulled out a chopping board and a knife. When you turned around again Butcher was right in front of you causing you to jump.

“What the fuck!” you said

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“What?”

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?”

Butcher smiled and leant down putting his hands down either side of you and pinning you against the counter. You looked around for an escape but couldn’t find one.

“Not going to answer me.”

You rolled your eyes and held up a knife and an onion.

“Cooking,” you explained, “Help if you’d like.”

Butcher was silent for a moment then shook his head.

“Nah,” he said walking away, “I’d leave that to you.”

You turned your back on him and started taking the skin off of the onion. You could feel Butcher’s eyes on you and you tried your best to ignore him. However you kept thinking back to how close he was to you. It had been a while since someone had been that close to you and you found yourself missing the warmth of him. For him to circle his arms around you and pull you close against his chest. To stroke your hair and glide his hand down and tilt your chin and us he leant down and-

“Fuck!”

Your knife had slipped and you had your thumb. You quickly stuck your thumb in your mouth and started looking for something to wrap your thumb in to stop the bleeding. You had found some tissue but you were having trouble unrolling it.

“Give it here.”

The tissue was pulled from your hands and Butcher threw it away. He walked over to a separate cabinet and waved a box of plasters at your confused face.

“You really are fucking useless at times you stupid cunt.”

You gave him an unimpressed look as he held out his hand.

“What, you really think I’m going to let you bleed all over the place? Do you know how hard it is to go blood strains out of things?”

“Funnily enough, yes I do.” You said removing your thumb.

Hesitantly you gave him your hand. Butcher was surprisingly gentle with you as he wrapped up your cut. You had expected more snide comments or even pleasure at seeing you in pain gain. Instead what you got was an unexpected softness that you weren’t expecting and a brief flash of something resembling concern flicker across his face.

“Thanks.” You said once he had finished

“Don’t mention it. Seriously, don’t.”

“I wasn’t planning to. Can’t have the others know you’re getting soft on the supe cunt.”

You turned away and picked up the knife.

“And what do you think you’re doing with that?”

Butcher quickly took the knife out of your hand.

“Well someone’s got to finish this cooking. Can’t leave something half finished.” You said

“I thought leaving things half-finished was your speciality.”

You winced. Of course Butcher wasn’t going to leave this rest. You pulled out a cooking pot and started filling it with water.

“I thought this was over.” You said

“Right, over.” Butcher said chopping the rest of the onion, “And yet you’re still here.”

“I always repay my debts.”

“When it involves me forcibly dragging you to face them you do.”

“Better late than never.”

“Given a choice you’d never give me back what you owe me.”

“Given a choice I wouldn’t even be here.”

“Then why are you?”

“Because,” you sighed and lifted a second pot onto the stove, “Because…”

“Because you like it here,” said Butcher with a smirk, “You could leave at any time but you won’t because you like it.”

“No,” you said firmly, “I don’t like it here and I can’t leave at any time because you’d just find me again.”

“And I thought con artists were meant to be good liars.”

You didn’t have the energy to argue back. You just focused on making sure that the water didn’t boil over and that the onions Butcher finished cutting didn’t burn. You were getting used to cooking with him, it was peaceful and you were enjoying yourself. It gave you an insight of what could’ve been between the two of you but his hatred of you were always got in the way.

“I have plans.” you said eventually

“Plans that don’t involve me?”

“Plans that don’t involve anyone here but myself and a friend back home. Just a couple more weeks and you’ll never have to see me again.”

“I look forward to it.”

“I know you will.”

You turned your back on Butcher and missed the longing look he gave you. You just hoped that he didn’t see the pained look on your face at the thought of leaving him.


	13. Chapter 13

Things had become strangely domestic in the hide out. Hughie was in contact with Annie and whenever he was looking at his phone you could see a soft smile on his face. You wished him all the happiness and was hoping the Butcher wouldn’t ruin it. Frenchie and Kimiko were also spending a lot of time together, sitting close by each other and sharing soft smiles. MM was opening up more about his wife with you and you were starting to feel like part of the group.

Then there was you and Butcher. You hated how the man made you feel. How he made you want to abandon all your plans and stay with him. Gazes when you thought no one was looking, light brushes which could almost be passed as accidental. You had almost forget what had happened between the two of you but then Butcher would say something and all those feelings and memories returned. It was a confusing love-hate relationship that you knew you wouldn’t completely understand.

It was a rare peaceful day and you were relaxing and reading a book. You had your legs stretched out over Hughie’s legs. Frenchie, Kimiko and MM were out and Butcher was doing something in one of the other rooms. You turned a page of your book when the door to one of the bedrooms flew open with a bang. You and Hughie both jumped and looked at each other in confusion. Butcher stormed into the room and threw a black bag onto your lap. Your face paled when you realised what it was.

“Care to explain love?”

“Butcher-“ said Hughie

“Keep out of this Hughie,” Butcher growled, “This is between me and the supe.”

You flinched, you hadn’t heard that tone of voice in ages. Butcher leant down still glaring at you.

“Well? Planning on doing a runner?”

“That isn’t-“

“Then why would you have several thousand dollars hidden away?”

You swung your legs off the sofa and stood up, chest to chest with Butcher. Hughie moved away from the two of you not wanting to get involved in the impending fight.

“Why the fuck do you think?” you hissed, “Stop jumping to unfounded conclusions!”

“Unfounded!” Butcher yelled, “You’ve made your feelings perfectly clear! Planning to leave as soon as possible. Leaving m-“ he cut himself off and continued, “us to fight our battle alone.”

“This is your battle,” you cried, “You dragged everyone into this.”

“Guys-“ said Hughie

“Keep out of this!” you both yelled

You took a deep breath and stepped away. You needed to calm down before you did something stupid.

“You want to know why I have so much money.”

“Yes!”

“Because I was paying you back you cunt!”

Silence fell. Butcher and you were breathing heavily and you were blinking rapidly to prevent the tears from falling. Butcher’s eyes went wide as he realised his mistake.

“Y/n-“

“No,” you held up your hands and shook your head, “Just no. I told you I was going to pay you back and it’s clear that you don’t trust me.”

“At first yes but-“

“I haven’t finished speaking. Keep the fucking money for all I care. I have a bit more stashed away so have fun finding it. Once you do you can keep it and then I’m done. I can’t stay with someone who clearly doesn’t trust me or respect me.”

“I-“

“So I’m gone. Goodbye Butcher.”

You turned your back on him and walked towards the door. Hughie took a step towards you but one look at your face made him stop in his tracks. Tears were falling down your face. You finally thought that you were getting somewhere with Butcher but this just proved this his feelings hadn’t changed. You’d always be an untrustworthy supe to him.

“Wait just a minute.”

Butcher grabbed your shoulder and you tensed. He turned you around and you grabbed his wrist.

“ **Let go of me**.” You said

Immediately Butcher released you as though he’d just been burned. You staggered back and shook your head.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Then you left.

*

You must’ve been walking for hours. Hughie had been blowing up your phone with messages. Pleading with you to come back, telling you that the others were concerned about you as well when they had found out that you had gone, Butcher’s guilt (although he’d never admit it). You just shook your head when you read them and shoved your phone in your pocket.

You don’t know why you were so upset over what Butcher thought about you. This was always going to happen, paying him back then never seeing him again. Maybe it was because you didn’t want to end things on an argument? Yes, that must’ve been it.

A hand reached out a grabbed your shoulder. You let out a cry but that was quickly silenced as you were dragged into an alley. You struggled but you couldn’t break free.

“Finally found you,” a voice growled into your ear, “Did you really think we wouldn’t find you, you bitch?”

There was a sharp pain in your neck and your vision began to swim.

“Sweet dream sweetheart,” chuckled the voice, “They’ll be the last you’re going to have for a while.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for torture in this chapter.

You didn’t know how long you had been held captive for. You were kept in a small cell at night which had a bucket and a mattress on the floor. During the day you would be taken a strapped to a wooden chair where you would be interrogated.

“Come on sweetheart,” said a man, “All we want is a name. Just give us a name and then we’ll leave you in peace.”

“A name,” you croaked, “And then you’ll leave me in peace?”

“That’s correct.”

“And by peace you mean kill me.”

“Oh you’re far too pretty to kill.”

A hand stroked your cheek and you jerked away. That earnt you a slap across the face and you hissed in pain. Turned out the people that you and Butcher scammed the other day weren’t as forgiving as you initially thought.

“Look,” said a second voice, “Is he really worth it?”

“Fuck no. I hate his fucking guts the stupid cunt.”

That got a chuckle.

“Then why are you being so loyal?”

“Why?” you looked up at them, “Because that’s what I am, loyal. But I’m not loyal to him. By giving you his name I’ll be betraying my friends. So I guess we’re going to be getting to know each other really fucking well.”

*

You heard the scrape of a chair and looked up. You right eyes was swollen shut and you lip was cut open. Your nose was bleeding but you could tell it wasn’t broken.

“What the fuck do you want.”

“I heard a rumour,” said the man as he lit a cigarette, “That you’re some kind of supe.”

“I ain’t a supe.”

“I know that. If you were I’m sure Vought would be on us. That you see, that works in our favour.”

“Does it.”

“We can do whatever we want to you and we know that those fucks won’t come and help you. There are far bigger things in the world that they are worried about then some shitty little thief and her pathetic boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“You two seemed very close.”

“Just because I work with him doesn’t mean I want to fuck him. I despise him.”

“You have plenty of reason to,” the man took a deep drag and blew the smoke out in your face, “He did let you get captured. But I don’t want to talk about him, I’m far more interested in you.”

“In me?”

“What are your powers? You’re not super strong, or fast or can fly. You can’t, oh I don’t know, summon fireballs in your hands. So what are you? Telekinetic? Electrokinetic? Telepathic?”

You froze and he laughed and clapped his hands.

“You’re a telepath. That explains so much.”

“Fuck you.”

“Maybe if you’re good. So tell me Professor X,” he leant closer, “What am I planning on doing to you?”

Before you snapped back he reached forward and put his cigarette out on your knee. Your shrieks of pain drowned out his laughter and you could only hope that Butcher would care enough to find you.

*

All you had known for the past couple of hours was pain. Pain like you never felt before. The man from before, who you guessed was the leader, watched from the side lines as his men slowly pulled out your fingers nails. You howls of pain did nothing to stop them and it clouded your mind so much that you couldn’t use your powers.

“She still isn’t talking.”

He sighed and pushed himself off the wall and walked over towards you.

“Such loyalty for a man you claim to hate,” he said, “Would he be so loyal to you?”

You didn’t answer and he clicked his tongue in disappointment.

“Leave her for now boys,” he said as he put his cigarette out on your thumb, “Let her think about her life choices and if keeping quiet is worth it.”

Once you were alone you broke down a sobbed. Butcher didn’t care about you, none of them did. If they did they would’ve found you by now. Still, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes in concentration. This was worth a shot and was your one last hope.

 _‘Butcher’_ you thought and tried to locate his mind, _‘Butcher come find me.’_


	15. Chapter 15

Butcher had fucked up. He had gone too far and pushed you away. He paced around the room running his fingers through his hair. He didn’t think that he would miss you as much as he did. He shouldn’t have pushed you away, he should’ve trusted you and now it was too late. You were gone and he would never see you again.

“Butcher.”

He snapped his head around and saw Hughie standing in the doorway. At first Hughie was beyond angry at him, Butcher had never seen him so angry before. But now he had cooled down a lot although he was still angry. Frenchie and MM had demanded to know what had happened but neither of them had admitted the truth. At least Hughie hadn’t yet.

“What?” snapped Butcher, “What the fuck do you want?”

“Y/n’s been missing for a week.”

“She isn’t missing. She left. She isn’t coming back Hughie.”

“No,” Hughie shook his head, “No something’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong,” Butcher stood up and stormed over to Hughie, “Is that we placed too much faith in a fucking supe. They’ll all the same, a bunch of cunts. We’re better off without her.”

“Butcher, listen to me. Y/n is in trouble.”

“Alright, how the fuck do you know? Go on Hughie, tell me.”

Hughie opened his mouth before closing it. You had trusted him with your number and promised not to tell the others. He had been texting you repeatedly since you had left and never received a reply back and you always replied. He couldn’t tell Butcher without breaking his promise to you.

“Well, I’m waiting.”

“Gut instinct.”

“That’s a load of bollocks,” snapped Butcher, “You just can’t get over the fact that she left. This discussion is over.”

“If you don’t help me look for her I’ll tell Frenchie and MM the truth. They only know part of the story and I’m sure they’ll be pissed when they find out what actually happened.”

Butcher looked over and glared at Hughie. Hughie swallowed nervously but stood his ground.

“You’ll do what?”

“They’re bound to find out the truth sooner or later,” said Hughie, “And if you don’t look for y/n not it’ll be a lot sooner than you’d like.”

“Fine,” Butcher said after a pause, “Fine we’ll go looking for her. And you better be right about this. I don’t want to waste my time on a fucking supe.”

*

“We’ve been looking all fucking day,” said Butcher leaning against a building, “She’s gone. We ain’t going to find her.”

“It’s a big city,” said Hughie, “And we haven’t looked for that long. We just need-“

“This is over! Drop it and move on!”

“Well we wouldn’t be in this mess if it wasn’t for you!”

Butcher froze and Hughie seemed to realised his mistake but he carried on talking,

“If the two of you hadn’t been so fucking stubborn then y/n wouldn’t have left. If you had just swallowed you pride and told her that-“

Butcher had stormed over and grabbed Hughie and pushed him against the building.

“Told her what?” he hissed

Hughie swallowed but Butcher wasn’t about to let him leave anytime soon.

“Go on lad,” he said, “Lost your balls now have you?”

“Told her that you didn’t hate her.”

“That’ll be a lie. I do hate her.”

“You don’t,” said Hughie weakly, “It’s obvious to everyone that you care about her.”

“Now listen here you little-“

Butcher froze, his grip on Hughie tightening. Hughie struggled in Butcher’s grip then to his surprise Butcher let him go. He fell to the ground and looked up at Butcher who had gone very pale.

“Y/n?” he said quietly and Hughie could’ve sworn he heard his voice crack slightly, “Where are you love?”


	16. Chapter 16

“You did what?” yelled MM

“Look,” said Butcher, “It wasn’t entirely my fault.”

“From what Hughie said it sounds like it is.” Said Frenchie

“Alright, so it was partially my fault.”

“Partially!”

“Guys,” said Hughie, “Can we please get back to the important matter.”

“Right,” said Butcher, “Y/n’s in trouble and we’re going to save her.”

MM, Frenchie, Hughie and Kimiko looked at each other before looking back at Butcher.

“You changed your opinion,” said MM, “I thought you wanted her dead?”

“She still owes me my money,” said Butcher quickly, “That’s all.”

“Right,” said Frenchie, “So what’s the plan?”

*

You had expected your captors to have come back a lot sooner. The worst part was the waiting, for them to come back and torture you. What you really hadn’t been expecting was for Butcher to answer you back and to ensure you that he was coming. That gave you a flicker of hope that you would be saved.

There was the sound of running and screams. You looked up weakly and smiled slightly. They had found you, they had finally fucking found you. The door slammed open and someone ran towards you. They pressed their gun to your head and said,

“Take one more step and I’ll blow her fucking brains out.”

“Easy now,” said Butcher, “I really wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“Why not?” said the voice, “You haven’t got all of us. Our boss isn’t here and when he finds out he’ll-“

You never did find out what the boss would do. Butcher had fired his gun while the man was ranting. You felt warm blood splash across you face and heard him fall to the ground. Butcher ran towards you and gently held your face in his hand.

“Y/n,” he said quietly, “Y/n can you hear me?”

“Billy?”

“I’m here,” he said, “Fuck, I’m here.”

“You saved me.”

“I couldn’t just let you die,” he said, “Not when you still owe me money.”

You let out a weak laugh and you felt darkness cloud your vision.

“Has anyone told you,” you said just before blackness claimed you, “That you’re an arse Billy Butcher.”

“Y/n?” said Butcher, “Y/n answer me!”

“Is she…” asked Hughie who had entered the room

With shaking hands Butcher pressed against your pulse point. He let out a sigh of relief when he felt your heart beat.

“Still alive,” he said, “Thank fuck.”

“We need to get her out of here.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” he hissed

Butcher got to work untying your bonds. He let out a wince when he saw how badly they had cut into you. Your wrists were red raw and your blood had soaked into the rope. When you were free he lifted you into his arms and marched out of the room. He was never going to let you out of his sight.

“Butcher,” said MM, “Have you found- oh shit.”

“What’s wro- oh.”

MM and Frenchie stared at your unconscious form. Butcher had a tight grip on you and when MM moved closer he pulled you closer to his chest.

“Don’t you fucking touch her.” He hissed

“She needs a hospital.”

“No hospitals.”

“I’ll need to see her,” said MM, “But right now we need to get out of here.”

“You do that,” said Butcher as he walked away, “And you better make sure she survives.”


	17. Chapter 17

_You tended not to revisit places that you had already scammed or had robbed someone in. However this casino was on the way to your destination and you could always do with a bit of extra cash. You hoped that nobody would recognise you and you watched over the crowds._

_Then you saw him._

_He looked slightly different to when you saw him last, which was about nine months ago. He had grown out a beard and his hair was still messy. When he turned around you saw that he was still wearing a hideous Hawaiian shirt. He made eye contact with you and frowned, almost as though he recognised you. He started walking towards you and you chose that moment to disappear. There was no way he could remember you but you’d rather not take the chance._

_“Oi!” he yelled, “Oi hold it. I want to have a word with you.”_

_Ha, no chance. You weren’t about to let that bastard catch you. Unfortunately luck was not on your side. A hand clasped itself on your shoulder and you were forced around to look into his face. He had a confused expression but there was a murderous intent hidden under it. You were in deep shit if he actually remembered you._

_“Who are you?”_

_“Buy me a drink and maybe I’ll tell you.”_

_You winced as his grip suddenly tightened._

_“Oh no,” he said quietly as he stared dragging you away, “I know you did something to me. What are you, another supe cunt?”_

_“I ain’t a supe!”_

_“But you did something. You know a supe is that it?”_

_“Y/n,” a voice called, “Everything alright?”_

_You relaxed as your target for that evening approached the two of you. His name was Peter and he was rich and thick, exactly your type. You relaxed immediately as he walked up to you and put a hand on your other shoulder._

_“Underhand her right now,” he said, “Or I’ll call security.”_

_“Security,” he laughed, “Load of fucking good they’ll do. What’s your plan with him? Rob him blind just like me?”_

_“Rob? Y/n what is he talking about.”_

_“Nothing dear,” you said, “I think he just had a bit too much to drink.”_

_You tried to use your powers to relax Peter but unfortunately, due to the noise and confusion of the casino, you hit the wrong target. You and the man, who you remembered was called Billy, both gasped. Peter had managed to pull you free but it was too late. Billy gave you a murderous look and you knew you were fucked._

_“You cunt,” he hissed, “I knew I remembered you from somewhere. You fucking thieving supe bitch.”_

_“Security!” cried Peter as he wrapped an arm around, “Security!”_

_“I’ll find you,” Billy yelled as he was dragged away, “This isn’t fucking over!”_

*

You woke up with a jolt then let out a groan as the pain hit you. You looked around the room and recognised that you were in the hide out. A wave of relief washed over you that the Boys had found you and you pulled back the covers. You lets out a hiss of pain as you tried to bend your fingers and looked down at them. They were wrapped in white bandages and you let out a shudder when you remembered what had happened.

Slowly you made your way out of bed. You grabbed the wall when you almost fell over and had to wait a moment until you regained your balance. You shuffled towards the door and gingerly grabbed the handle and swung the door open. Butcher was sitting on the sofa and looked up sharply when you entered the room.

“No,” he said firmly, “Go back to bed right now.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Tough fucking luck,” he said walking over to you, “I’m not going to argue with you. You’ve just been… You’re still injured.”

“Please,” you said, “I don’t want to be alone right now. When I am all I can think about is those men we robbed in that bar. How they-“

You broke off, not able to finish the sentence. Butcher’s eyes softened and he sighed.

“Fine,” he said, “Come here.”

You were immediately scooped up in Butcher’s arms as he walked back towards the sofa. With an unexpected gentleness he laid you down on the sofa and sat down next to you. You leant against him and when you felt him tense you started to move away.

“Sorry.” You said

“Don’t be.”

He pulled you back against him.

“If it makes you feel better than do it. Just don’t expect this all the time.”

“I understand. Where are the others?”

“I don’t think you’re in the right state of mind to know.”

“Butcher.”

“Later.”

“I have a right to know what happened to the people who fucking tortured me.”

Butcher was silent for a moment. When you looked up at him you could see the conflict on his face.

“Please Billy.”

“Fine,” he said, “One of them wasn’t there.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, a feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach

“The boss, the cunt we robbed. He wasn’t there.”

You felt your chest get tight. You sat up and put your hand over your heart. You were vaguely aware of Butcher saying your name but it sounded distant, as though he was underwater. Your breathing quickened but no air was going into your lungs. You felt hands on your face and you were forced to look into Butcher’s eyes.

“Y/n,” he said firmly, “Listen to me.”

“Can’t… breath.”

“Shh, shh, it’ll be alright. Listen to me, breath in-“

You took a deep breath in.

“Good girl. And out.”

You did this several times until Butcher was satisfied your breathing was better and you could feel your heart rate return to normal. He gently hushed you and stroked your cheek with his thumb.

“You’re safe,” he said, “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“He’s going to find us,” you said, “He’s going to find us then kill us.”

“No he’s not.”

“Yes he-“

Butcher pulled you against him. You tried to pull yourself out of his arms but his grip just tightened. Eventually you relaxed against him. Butcher didn’t say anything and just stroked your hair. When he felt you shuddering against him he didn’t comment and he didn’t say anything when he felt his shirt getting wet. He was going to be there for you. You finally needed him but he didn’t want you to need him like this.

“I found something for you.” He said when you had finally calmed down

You looked up at him and he nodded towards the TV. He switched it on and he felt his heart fluttered when you smiled.

“How?” you asked

“I know a guy.”

“And you’ll watch this with me?”

“I might die of boredom or gouge my eyes out, but yes.”

“Thanks Butcher.”

“Don’t mention it.”

You relaxed again him and put your head on his lap. Butcher rested a hand on top of your head as your eyes were glued to the TV now playing the Antiques Roadshow. Maybe Butcher wasn’t as big of a bastard as you thought.


	18. Chapter 18

When you woke up you were lying on the sofa. The hide out was dark and silent and you sat up carefully. You rubbed your eyes trying to get the sleep out of them when you heard the door open 

“Y/n,” said Hughie, “You’re awake.”

You opened your mouth but you were quickly engulfed by Hughie. He wrapped his arms around you tightly and said,

“Thank God you’re awake. When we saw you… Butcher went mad. You’re lucky were unconscious at the time.”

“Hughie,” you said quietly, “Good to see you again.”

“Yeah.”

“But can you let go of me, you’re kind of suffocating me.”

“Oh sorry!”

Hughie quickly let go but his hands remained on your shoulders. He smiled at you and awkwardly patted your shoulder.

“Where are the others?” you asked

When Hughie bit his lip and looked away you immediately knew something had happened.

“Hughie, what’s wrong.”

“Nothing,” he said, “I think you should get some more rest that’s all.”

“Tell me.”

“It’s not a good-“

“Please Hughie.”

“Alright,” he said, “When you were unconscious Frenchie and MM went out looking for the person who got away.”

“Right,” you felt the panic grow in your chest but you forced it down, “Then what.”

“They found him.”

“What!”

“Shh,” said Hughie looking nervous, “Butcher’s outside, he’s going to- Hey wait!”

“I’m sorry Hughie,” you said as you marched towards the door, “But there’s no fucking way that Butcher’s going after that cunt without me.”

You ignored Hughie’s protests as you marched outside. You saw Butcher in a car and as you made eye contact with him he stuck his head out of the window.

“Go back to bed right fucking now. Don’t you dare argue with me.”

You ignored him and continued over to the car. You pulled open the passenger door before Butcher could lock the door and sat down. You and Butcher glared at each other.

“So what,” you snapped, “You thought that you could just sneak off and kill the bastard without me knowing?”

“That isn’t-“

“I have a right to be there Butcher!”

“You need to get better!”

“And you don’t think that this would help?”

“Maybe in the short term, yes. But do you really think that you could live with yourself knowing that I killed someone and you let me do it?”

“You’ve killed before.”

“This is different.”

“Correct.”

“Then fuck off.”

“It’s different because I’m coming with you.”

“Y/n-“

“Butcher please.”

“No.”

“I need to do this Billy. I’m begging you, let me come.”

Butcher was silent and looked out of the window. Eventually he nodded and started the car.

“But you’re staying in the car when I kill the cunt.”

You made a noise of agreement but deep down you knew that was never going to happen.

*

You were shaken away and looked groggily at Butcher. He jerked his head in the direction of a motel and you frowned. It was dark out and you hadn’t realised you had fallen asleep.

“We need a break,” he said, “Come on.”

You sleepily made your way out of the care and let Butcher guide you to the room. You shivered as he opened the door and the two of you froze. Turned out that the room Butcher got only had one bed. You looked at each other awkwardly and Butcher turned around.

“I’ll sleep in the car,” he said, “You need the bed more than I do.”

“Bullshit,” you said, “Do you really hate me enough not to share a bed with me?”

“I don’t hate you.”

That took you by surprise.

“You don’t?”

“I fucking hate what you are,” Butcher said quietly, “I can’t stand the fact that you’re a supe and I-“

“And you what?”

“Nothing. Go to sleep.”

It seemed like fate always enjoyed shoved you and Butcher in increasingly awkward situations. You were curled up on your side of the bed being careful not to touch Butcher. You shivered slightly, the duvet wasn’t the warmest and the room was freezing. You heard Butcher sighed next to you and turned around.

“For fucks sake.”

He pulled you towards him and wrapped his arms around you. He rested his head against your shoulder and breathed deeply.

“My wife.”

“Excuse me?”

“You asked me why I left London. My wife is American and I left to be with her.”

He was married or still is from the sound of it.

“Oh.”

You could tell that there was more to the story than he was letting on. When Butcher’s grip on you tightened painfully and you hissed in pain. He immediately loosened his grip but didn’t let you go.

“Do you want to talk about her?” you asked

“With you? No.”

“Fair enough.”

You felt yourself gradually getting warmer in Butcher’s arms. You finally felt relaxed but a small part of you was distressed. Butcher had a wife and there was no way he would ever give up on her for a supe he hated.

“She missing.”

“Huh?”

“Becca, my wife. She’s been missing for eight years.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry.”

“After Homelander-“he swallowed and shook his head, “Why the fuck am I telling a cunt like you this?”

“For the same reason I’m currently in your arms?”

You didn’t mean for it to come out as a question. Butcher chuckled and you felt the vibrations against your back.

“Sure love,” he said sarcastically, “Now get some sleep. We have a long and bloody day tomorrow.”


	19. Chapter 19

Butcher could get used to this. Your head was lying on his chest and he carefully brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. You shifted in your sleep and he couldn’t help but notice how peaceful you looked. When you weren’t yelling at him you could almost be beautiful.

Butcher cupped your face and tilted it upwards. His thumb brushed your cheekbone and he smiled went you leant into his hand. He hadn’t shared a bed with someone in so long he had forgotten how good it felt to have a warm body beside him. An uneasy feeling settled in his stomach when he thought back to Becca. He had spent so many years hating supes and now he was sharing a bed with one. Admittedly he hadn’t _slept_ with you but still… something was going to have to be done about your powers.

He had always wondered if there was a way to remove powers from a supe. To turn the powerful into someone weak. He ran his fingers through your hair and felt a warm sense of belonging when your arm moved up towards his chest. Yes, he could certainly get used to this. When he felt you stir under his hand he quickly removed it and shut his eyes.

You groaned softly as you opened your eyes and the morning light blinded you. You buried your head in the warm chest then you sat up with a jolt. Butcher winced at your sudden action before opening his eyes again and smirking at you,

“Morning love,” he said, “Good night’s sleep.”

“What happen?” you asked, “You didn’t-“

“No!” he said quickly, “You’re still a supe. This ain’t going to happen again.”

“Good,” you said as you got out of the bed, “What’s the plan for today?”

“Get changed and then breakfast,” Butcher said as he grabbed a shirt, “It’s going to be a long day.”

*

You and Butcher pulled up to an abandoned warehouse and you gave him a disappointed look.

“This is where the cunt is hiding?” you asked, “Are you serious?”

“This is where MM said he’d be,” said Butcher, “And he hasn’t be wrong before.”

“Right,” you said undoing your seatbelt, “What’s the plan.”

“The plan,” said Butcher grabbing a gun, “Is for you to stay put and for me to kill the bastard.”

“That’s a shit plan. Besides don’t I deserve to kill him?”

“You’re still hurt.”

“This’ll make me feel better.”

“No.”

“Butcher-“

“I said no!”

“And I ain’t gonna accept that!”

“Fine,” snapped Butcher, “How about this. I’ll injure the cunt and then you can kill him.”

“Really?”

“Yes but I’ll bring him out. You stay put.”

“Fine,” you leant back in your seat and folded your arms, “Have it your way.”

“I always do.”

“Fuck you.”

“All in good time.”

You continued to glare at Butcher as he got out of the car and walked towards the warehouse. He looked back and gave you a cheery wave which resulted in your giving him the finger. Bastard got to have all the fun while you were left behind.

However this gave you plenty of time to think about you relationship with Butcher. It had certainly changed a lot from when you first met him. You didn’t know how to describe your relationship with Butcher and there was definitely something between the two of you. You’d be lying if you said that you didn’t find him attractive. Even though he was older than you that didn’t bother you.

What did bother you was the look he got in his eye whenever he looked at you. When he held you just that bit too tight and you thought that he would never let you go. The thought of leaving was an increasingly dread to you. Not because you’ be leaving your friends but also you had the feeling that Butcher would never let you go. Even though he has a wife you suspected that when you left he would hunt you down.

“Y/n,” you muttered, “What have you got yourself into?”

You slipped across into the driver’s seat and looked for the keys. You slammed the wheel and cursed. Butcher had taken them. You rested your head against the wheel and groaned. It wasn’t very honourable, leaving Butcher in the middle of nowhere without a car, but you needed to get away. The sound of a gunshot made you look up and your blood turn cold. You hesitated for a moment before you opened the car door and ran towards the barn. You pulled out a gun and carefully opened the door.

Butcher was pinned against the wall by the man who tortured you. He was holding back the man’s hand who was holding a knife. However, it seemed like Butcher was losing strength as the knife was slowly making its way towards his throat. Butcher’s eyes flickered over to you when he heard the door open.

“Y/n,” he said, “Shoot the cunt.”

“I wouldn’t do that sweetheart,” said the man, “You don’t know who else I have here. You’ll be dead before you pull the trigger.”

“He’s lying!”

The gun shook as you held it. Then a thought flickered across your mind. This cunt tortured you so you were going to kill him but then there was Butcher. Would you ever be free of him? No, no you wouldn’t be, not unless.

“Y/n!”

Butcher’s yell snapped you out of your confused state. In panic you shut your eyes and aimed the gun.

Then you pulled the trigger.


	20. Chapter 20

“You did it.”

The gun fell to the floor.

“You fucking did it.”

Your ears were ringing.

“He’s dead.”

Everything sounded muffled as though you were underwater and your vision was blurry.

“Y/n.”

You just took a man’s life. Of course he was a grade a cunt but still…

“Listen to me, you’re going into shock.”

“I… I…”

“First time is always the worst,” warm, rough hands cupped your face, “But it gets easier with time.”

“I don’t want it to.”

“But you still pulled the trigger love.”

You vision began to clear and you looked up into the face of Butcher. His face was splattered with blood and pieces of brain. Your hand moved to cover your mouth.

“Fuck,” you said, “Fuck I just murdered someone.”

“You murdered a torturer,” said Butcher calmly, “Personally I would’ve liked him to survive just to inflict the same pain on him that he put you through but hey,” he shrugged and smiled, “You did well.”

“I think I’m going to be sick.”

“No, no, no,” Butcher said quickly, “You’re not throwing up.”

“You’re covered in blood.”

“Nothing new.”

“And brain.”

“At least I know how Hughie felt.”

“Oh fuck.”

You tried to pull your face away but Butcher pulled you towards him. He wrapped an arm around your waist and gently stroked your hair.

“Hush,” he said, “You did good. I’m proud of you.”

“For killing a man.”

“You’re handling it a lot better than I thought you would.”

“Was this your plan all along,” you said sharply, looking up at him, “You were never going to just injure him.”

Butcher’s silence told you what you wanted to know.

“You bastard!” you yelled hitting his chest, “You git, you cunt. You knew I’d never killed someone before and you just set me up to do so!”

“You wanted him dead!”

“You actually thought I’d be able to go through with it! I’m a con artist! Just because I said I wanted him dead didn’t meant that _I_ wanted to kill him! I’m not like you or Frenchie or MM!”

“Calm down.”

“Don’t you dare tell me to fucking calm down,” you struggled in his grip but Butcher refused to let you go, “Fuck, I hate you Billy But-“

You never got to finish your sentence. Butcher’s hand gripped your hair and he held your head in place as he pressed his lips against yours.

You froze. Butcher’s grip relaxed as his hand moved to cup your face. You closed your eyes and kissed him back, lost in the moment that months of tension and bickering had finally led to. You smiled against Butcher’s lips as you felt his beard scratch against your cheek. As Butcher deepened the kiss, and his hands moved lower, you tasted it. The sharp, metallic tang that you knew instinctively was blood. You pushed him away breathing heavily.

“You seemed to be enjoying yourself,” said Butcher gruffly, “Don’t tell me you’ve got cold fucking feet.”

“You’re covered in blood.”

“And?”

You gave Butcher and incredulous look.

“You’ve got to be fucking me,” you said, “You are covered in blood. You’ve got bits of brain in your hair.”

“Alright,” he said flicking a piece of brain to the floor, “This isn’t to everyone’s taste. Tell you what, we’ll get rid of the body then you can help me clean up.”

*

You had just shut the door of the room when you were immediately pinned against it. He grabbed your wrists and pressed them against the door as he claimed your lips once again. You moaned softly and when he broke away he pressed light kisses down the side of your neck.

“Fuck,” he said, “Do you know how long I’ve been wanting to do this for?”

“Too fucking long.”

“You’ve always been a pain,” he hissed as he led you over to the bed, “Since the first day I met you I hated you.”

“Such as nice thing to say.”

“When I saw that money,” he straddled you and gently brushed the hair out of your face, “I thought you were going to leave me.”

“That shouldn’t have come as a surprise.”

“I didn’t want you to,” Butcher said quietly, “I wanted you to stay and then I realised that you weren’t.”

His head dropped and you lifted it up. You smiled at him before raising yourself on your elbows and pressing a kiss against his lips before saying,

“I’m not going anywhere.”

*

You woke up sore but satisfied. Butcher was asleep next to you, his arm over your waist. You brushed some hair out of his eyes and smiled. You hadn’t planned for this to happen but you certainly weren’t complaining. You started to slip out of bed when the arm around you tightened and you were pulled back against Butcher’s chest.

“And where do you think you’re going?” said Butcher

“Butcher.” You whined as he started pressing kisses down your neck

“I finally have you,” he said, “And I don’t intend to let you go anytime soon.”

“Come on,” you said squirming, “I need to piss.”

Immediately Butcher let you go and you dashed away with a triumphant shout. It took him a second to realise that you had tricked him before Butcher chased after you. You just had it to the bathroom and locked the door before he started knocking on it.

“Open up y/n,” you heard him say, “I promise it’s for your benefit.”

“Can’t fool me,” you said, “I know what you’re like Billy Butcher.”

You heard him sighed and rest his head against the door. You frowned slightly, not sure if his reaction was just to get you out of the room.

“Y/n,” he said suddenly serious, “There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you but there hasn’t been the right time. Not since you were kidnapped, recovering and now this. But you need to know.”

“Oh fuck,” you said unlocking the door, “Is this an ‘it’s not you it’s me’ speech.”

You looked up into Butcher’s eyes and he grimaced.

“No,” he said, “It’s about Compound V.”


	21. Chapter 21

“What the actual fuck!”

Butcher winced as you started yelling in the car. He had expected a bad reaction from you when he told you the truth about Compound V but he hadn’t expected that it would be this bad.

“Seriously,” you yelled, “Are you telling me that my fucking parents let me be dosed up with this magic superhero juice? They knew that I would be like this!”

“Y/n-“

“I’m their child! I was a baby for fucks sake and they let those madmen at Vought do this! And for what?”

“Most likely money.”

“Money,” you spat the word, “All for fucking money. That’s all they ever cared about.”

The realisation that your parents never really valued you and only your powers settled in. You slumped back, suddenly very tired, and looked out of the window.

“Very never really cared about me,” you said quietly, “I was just a useful object to them. Do you think they would’ve still loved me if I didn’t have my powers?”

Butcher looked at you out of the corner of his eye before quickly looking back at the road.

“Fuck what they think,” he said, “You’re better off without them.”

“But they’re my parents.”

“You don’t need them. You’ve proven that you are more than capable without them dragging you down. You’re one of us now.”

“Thanks Butcher.” You said slightly sarcastically

Butcher grunted in response but you could see that he was happy.

“Don’t get soft on me now,” he said, “We still need to you help take down Vought and the Seven.”

*

When Butcher pulled up to the safe house you saw MM standing at the window. You gave him a wave and he nodded before he turned his attention to Butcher. His eyes narrowed and he jerked his head indicating for him to come in.

“Someone’s pissed at you.” You said

“He’ll get over it,” said Butcher, “He likes me too much to stay mad at me forever.”

“Has anyone told you that you’re incredibly arrogant?”

“I’m told it’s one of my best characteristics.”

You rolled your eyes as you made your way towards the room. To your surprise Butcher actually held the door open and that was met the a raised eyebrow from MM. You spotted Hughie who was sitting on a bed staring at his phone dejectedly. He looked slightly happier when you sat next to him but his mood saddened when he looked back down at a photo of him and Annie. You’d have to quiz him about that later. Frenchie and Kimiko looked up when you entered. Frenchie looked between you and Butcher before a look of understanding crossed his face. He leant down to whisper to Kimiko who then smiled at you. Butcher’s eyes narrowed when you chose to sit by Hughie and not remain near him but MM quickly turned to him and said,

“What the fuck were you thinking?”

“In my defence,” said Butcher, “Y/n wanted to come.”

“You should’ve said no! She’s still recovering from what happened. You saw her hands!”

“MM-“ you said quietly

“Y/n,” said MM walking over to you and kneeling down in front of you, “You shouldn’t have gone.”

“I needed to.”

“You could’ve hurt yourself.”

“I’m already hurt,” you said with a shrug, “Besides, I had Butcher.”

“You had Butcher.” Said MM in disbelief

“Yeah.”

“And you trusted him?”

“Hmm,” you looked over at Butcher and then to MM, “I can’t drive so I needed a getaway driver.”

“Nice to know I’m valued.”

“Wait,” MM looked at the two of you, “Are you two finally getting along?”

You and Butcher looked at each other and you shrugged. You didn’t want to let the others know just yet.

“Maybe,” you said, “I mean he hasn’t threatened to kill me in at least a day.”

“Just wait until you’re better,” said Butcher, “Going easy on you because of what happened.”

“So you do have a heart!”

“Fuck you.”

*

You stood outside the safe house breathing in the cool night air. You heard the door open and shut and looked over at MM. He walked over to you and the two of you stood in silence until MM said,

“You fucked him didn’t you.”

You spluttered and turned bright red.

“I don’t know-“

“I’ve known Butcher a long time,” MM interrupted, “I can tell these sorts of things.”

You deflated and looked at the ground embarrassed.

“Do the others know?”

“Probably.”

“Fuck.”

“Nothing is be ashamed about,” MM put a comforting hand on your shoulder, “But let me give you some advice.”

“Yeah?”

“People around Butcher tend to get hurt. Just be careful ok?”

“Frenchie said something similar.”

“Probably the only sensible thing he’s said. Listen, if Butcher’s gets too much let me know ok? I know what he’s like and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“And what about Butcher?”

“Butcher can handle himself.”

“And I can’t.”

“I know you can,” MM smiled at you before turning around and heading back into the room, “Just remember what I said.”


	22. Chapter 22

You had to get out of the safe house. It was getting too hot and stuffy in there and tensions were running high. You knew that you’d be moving on soon but you just had to get out and stretch your legs. You were pretty sure that you hadn’t been burned in the same way the others had as you had been kidnapped when the others visited Mesmer.

 _‘Fucking Mesmer,’_ you thought, _‘Why the fuck would they visit that half rated useless telepath. Who the fuck relies on touching people to read their minds.’_

As you were walking along the street you didn’t notice the person following you. It wasn’t until they ran past you and grabbed your bag that you realised you had been followed.

“Hey!” you yelled, “Stop!”

Ok, that was cliché. You started chasing after him but the thief had a head start. Honestly, you weren’t sure who you were angrier at. You for not noticing the bag thief sneaking up on you or at the thief for doing such a typical robbery.

People jumped out of the way as you continued to run after him. A few people tried to stop the thief but he managed to dodge them and they only caused you to slow down when you ran into them. You were beginning to lose hope when you came across a large crowd of people. They were chattering excitedly and you pushed your way to the front of them. What you saw made your blood run cold.

Homelander.

Vought’s golden boy was standing above the thief who was bleeding heavily from his nose. When he tried to stand Homeland just put a foot on his back and forced him back down. He was holding your bag in his hand and when he made eye contact with you he smiled widely. That smile that would usually make half of America swoon but just caused you to panic. He made eye contact with you and made his way towards you. You had to fight the urge to run away when he stood in front of you.

“Your bag.”

“How did-“

“I saw you chasing him.”

“I didn’t see-“ you stopped and took a deep breath, “How? Why? Isn’t stopping bag thieves a bit minor for someone like you?”

“I was in the area and it’s always good to remember where we started out.”

You were staring, you knew you were staring but you just couldn’t help it. There was something so magnetic about seeing the bastard in person instead on the TV. You blinked rapidly and grabbed your bag.

“Sorry,” you said quickly, “I’m just… overwhelmed! Yes, that’s it, overwhelmed. Didn’t think that my day would involve having my bag saved by Homelander himself!”

All you could think when Homelander puffed out his chest was ‘arrogant cunt’. You never liked the overly glossy and pristine picture that Vought painted for their hero’s and finally seeing Homelander in the flesh made you want to punch him in the face and break those perfect teeth. Fuck, Butcher must be rubbing off on you more than you thought. The sound of shouting made you jump and realise that the media would soon descend. You tried to make your escape but a strong hand clapped itself on your shoulder. Homelander pulled you against him as your eyes were assaulted by bright lights and cameras.

“Stay and smile for the cameras y/n,” whispered Homelander, “You don’t want to make a scene.”

*

You didn’t make it back to the safe house before you ran into Butcher. You were making your way back to him when you saw him marching towards you. He grabbed your arm and didn’t let go until he found an empty alley for you to talk in.

“What the fuck was that about?” he hissed, “You and Homelander getting all cosy.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” you said quietly, “He stopped a thief from taking my bag. What was I meant to do, tell him to fuck off?”

“Yes!”

“There was loads of people there,” you snapped, “And the media. What else could I do?”

Butcher held your gaze for a moment then sagged. He rested his head on your shoulder before wrapping his arms around you and bringing you close against his chest.

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

“I know but I didn’t have a choice. It would’ve looked strange if I wasn’t one of the millions of adoring Homelander fans.”

“It was just seeing you so close to him,” Butcher said, “Becca.”

“Your wife.”

“He raped her. He raped her then he killed her.”

“Oh fuck. Butcher I’m-“

“I can’t have that happening to you,” Butcher pulled back and tilted your head up, “I’m not going to let him hurt you.”

“I’m more than capable of looking after myself.”

“I know.”

“So don’t worry about me,” you cupped his face, “I’ll be-“

You stopped mid-sentence. Something had been bothering you since you’d met Homelander and you just realised what it was. Butcher looked at you, concerned and put his hand over yours.

“What’s happened?”

“Homelander,” you said quietly, “How did he know my name?”


End file.
